Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
