You really coming over, don't trick.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
