Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
