WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
