I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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