Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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