we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
