So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
