if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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