Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
