it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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