Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
