You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
