I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you just see the Batmobile???
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
