32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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