People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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