Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
