you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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