So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
