Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
