How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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