i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
