Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Terrible idea I love it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
