adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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