I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
