When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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