Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
