Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
