Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
