I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
