do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
