Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Randomize
