I hate your face
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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