kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
