EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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