i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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