Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
