1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
