I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
