Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
