Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
