how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
