I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
