I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
