As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
