she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
