We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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