He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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