belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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