i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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