dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
