I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
