her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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