either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
