Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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