i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
