On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
