This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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