I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
