Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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